Couples and Marital Relationships

“It is all about our innate need to have someone to depend on, a loved one who can offer reliable emotional connection and comfort” – Dr. Sue Johnson

Are you here for me?

Are you accessible when I need you?

Are you responsive when I call?

Are you engaging with me when I miss you?

When my clients come to therapy, they are usually ‘stuck’ and they do not know how to get ‘back on track’.

They feel lonely in their relationship. Their need for closeness and intimacy is being triggered but not met.

To be together in a relationship but not ‘to feel the togetherness’ is totally frustrating and usually causes pain.

During the first session, the partners get the opportunity to talk about where they are at and how they see the situation.  Often they speak about not being able to communicate any more. They don’t know how to repair and reconnect. They have often lost intimacy with each other and feel distressed and desperately lonely and unhappy.

I usually ask couples to read Hold Me Tight® as it helps people understand their attachment needs and how their emotions and actions impact the relationship.

In her book Dr. Sue Johnson, creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy comments that often one of the partners will be feeling rejected, unhappy, abandoned, betrayed, disconnected and lonely and will often say: “My heart is breaking; He/she is never there; Even when he/she is there he/she is never there”.

Whilst the other partner will often feel judged, criticised, rejected and lost, and will often say: “I never get it right or satisfy him/her; I shouldn’t bother. What’s the point? I don’t know what I feel. I am lost; I’m amazed that he/she can take something so small and build so way out of proportion.”

During the second and third sessions I see the partners individually and the work is private.

Subsequent sessions are resumed together.

I also run Hold Me Tight® Conversations for Connection workshops.

Delivered to hundreds of couples around the world (either as a weekly workshop or as a two day retreat) the Hold Me Tight® Programme helps couples revitalise and re-energise their relationship through a series of deep and honest conversation.

If you want to know if you and your partner are suitable for a Hold Me Tight® Programme, you can contact me, give me call me on +971 55 732 99 66 or send me an email to evelyne@evelynelthomas.com.